Sunday, March 6, 2016

Road Rager vs Bad EO ... ♥

I was driving and there was a motorbike riding in front of me at the the top of my left hand side. 
She slowed down and steered into left side and i thought of overtaking her, i speed. She took a right turn instantly without signal. There wasn't any accident. I stopped right beside of her motorbike with emergency brake. I stare at her for 3-5 seconds and rolled down the window and say "What the Fuck?". She started saying things like "This is 2-way lanes, you want to make me die?" and so on in Cantonese. I brought up the window without saying anything and drove off. She slapped my car with her fist. I stopped and drove off. While waiting in line to go out to a roundabouts, she rode to the passenger side window of my car and started say something and rode to the driver side and slap the back of my car with her fist again. She drove off. 

Fault (Road Rules & Regulation) :-
1. As a bigger vehicle, i should have slowed down while knowing there is a motorbike in front of me as according to the rules, bigger vehicle needs to give way to smaller vehicle. (not sure where i can find the rules, but this is all the parents told their children) 

2. There wasn't signal from the biker. You may overtake:- 
a. If a road sign or marking does not specifically prohibited overtaking.
b. Only when it is safe without obstructing or endangering other traffic.
c. and when you've activated your indicators.

If you want to stop, reduce speed suddenly, turn or change lanes you must give a clear signal, in the prescribed manner (see hand signals) visible to other drivers approaching from the front, rear or from the side and for long enough to warn other motorists of your intention.

Fault (Emotional Intelligence - EQ) :-
1. I did not compose myself. I have been into an accident where i see a person roll on to the tarmac road and i pay a sum to him while not sure who is at fault. When i encountered a situation which may lead into the same result, i snapped. 
2. Auntie will always be an auntie. I should avoid having a conflict with senior as a respect. 

How to Tackle bad EQ:-
1. Feel when your anger is triggered. Monitor your physical reactions like increased heart rate and tense muscle and clenched jaw. Observe your emotional signs such as irritation, sadness, guilt, resentment ... 
2. Be aware of your triggers. Feeling out of control of your own life, believing someone is manipulating you and in my case, i was afraid to cause another accident. 
3. Delay response. If you know that you have become angry and feel that you are about to lose your temper, give yourself the gift of time. Remind yourself that you do not have to respond or react immediately. Leave the situation, think about a reasoned response, then react later, when the anger has subsided. Close your eyes and breath for 10 seconds before thinking of a response. 
4. Find humor in the situation. Because anger is, in part, a chemical reaction, if you can change the chemicals in your body, you can circumvent a temper outbreak. Trying to find humor in a situation, or getting yourself laughing about something else, will diffuse the situation by changing your body’s chemical reaction. Laugh at how uncivilized the other party is while maintain yours. 
5. Take a meditation break. Meditation can help you regulate your emotions. Therefore, if you are feeling as though you are going to lose control of your temper, give yourself a little mental vacation through meditation. Remove yourself from the situation causing the anger: go outside, to a stairwell, or even to the bathroom. 

Change your thought:-
Always remind myself that i need to walk in other people shoe, 
When something happened, put people as priority before myself and ask them "Are you Ok?". Don't be mad, don't shout like a mad woman which will humiliate myself. Compose! Breathe and think before saying anything. Shouting or showing anger will show people that i'm uncivilized. 

We have expected certain kind of attitude and behavior when we drive in Malaysia. 
"Malaysian mah! Forget about it." is what people tend to use to comfort another when something unpleasant happened on the road. To be honest, i am a bad driver as well but i do take people safety  and my safety into consideration. Signal is a must for me. Don't wait until it happened, then only you started to use signal. ♥